One important thing to note about the tertiary function is that it's always the same attitude as our primary or Driver function (extroverted if the Driver function is extroverted, and vice versa). The third function feels safer than the Co-pilot (which always has the opposite attitude). This is because the auxiliary function is a far more challenging a place to be; extroverts don't want to slow down enough to explore their Co-Pilot, and the need to go out into the world can be nerve-wracking for introverts. This often leads us to go to our tertiary function in a defensive manner when what we really need to do is turn to our Co-Pilot.
The tertiary function as the "defensive position"(1)
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| (from Personality Hacker) |
Personality Hacker calls the tertiary function the "10 Year Old" because it has the maturity level of about a 10 year old child. In other words, it has a certain level of development, and can listen to and assist the Driver but, just as you would never force your 10 year old child to bear your adult burdens, the 10 year old part of you simply cannot handle the complex, sophisticated issues of adult life. The problem is, it's far easier for us to run to our 10 Year Old function when we're hiding from something unpleasant. That's because it's the same attitude as our driver and feels far more comfortable to us than the Co-Pilot, which forces us to go out of our comfort zone.
The 10 Year Old often shows up when we're relaxing in a comfortable way; we all naturally turn to it. For example, my 10 Year Old is Memory (introverted sensation). When I relax I love just chilling at home, reading or playing video games. Other examples are watching sports or playing strategy games for Effectiveness (extroverted thinking), or hanging out in a Bed Bath and Beyond for Harmony (extroverted feeling). Think of the kinds of things that 10 year olds with that particular Driver enjoy doing, that's our inner 10 Year Old at play.
The problem is that we don't just turn to it to relax and play; we often run to it when there's something we need to pay attention to, or do, that we want to avoid. This is why it's called the defensive position; extroverts go to their 10 Year Old when they're trying to drown out the quiet voice inside of them that's telling them that they're doing something wrong, introverts close their ears when the world is trying to tell them something. Because it's similar to the Driver the 10 Year Old usually agrees with it, fatuously validating the Driver's ideas rather than providing a fresh angle that may point to an actual solution. When the Driver has an agenda - when it's trying to avoid seeing or doing something, especially if that something is in the field of the Co-Pilot - that's when we tend go to the 10 Year Old in a negative way.
When this happens, we act out the very worst aspects of our 10 Year Old function. In my case (that of an INTP), I hide out in my home and refuse to go out, fearful and cynical, bitter at the world, losing the thing I value most, my ability to think clearly and understand what is true. A similar thing happens to each type as they hunker down in their 10 Year Old function and refuse to do the things they should do; they end up so warped that even their Driver is affected.
The thing to do when we use the 10 Year Old defensively, after first becoming aware of what we're doing, is to calm it down. Just as we'd have to stop what we were doing and care for our 10 year old child if they were distraught, when our inner 10 year old is acting out we need to do the same thing. We need to stop what we're doing, and do something that puts it at ease and makes it feel comfortable. Whatever it is that we do when we're chilling out, do that. Let the 10 Year Old calm down and relax. And when it's finally calmed down, it's time to go to the other adult in the car, the Co-Pilot, and let the grown ups handle the problem... which is as it should be.
Once we're no longer using the 10 Year Old function in an inappropriate way it can actually become of great help to us. It brings a third function into the mix, adding it's strengths to the abilities of the Driver and Co-Pilot. In my case, my Memory function brings a desire for structure and order. It's often a bit of a struggle - our inner 10 year old will never have the skill or facility that our adult functions do - but it encourages me to stop for a moment and organize all the amazing and important ideas I discover in a form that others can benefit from. This blog, and this series in particular, are expressions of my 10 Year Old function of Memory. By going to our Co-Pilot first, we create the conditions that allow our 10 Year Old to contribute it's special talents to the entire "family's" well being.
Links:
"Developing Your 10 Year Old Tertiary Cognitive Function" (Personality Hacker)
"Ways Unhealthy Personality Types Show Up" (Personality Hacker)
"How To Engage 10-Year Old Cognitive Function in Play" (Personality Hacker)
"Personality Development Tools: The Car Model" (Personality Hacker)
"When You ALMOST Know Your Personality Type" (Personality Hacker)
See also:
Primary function
Auxiliary function
Inferior function
Rational function
Irrational function
Psychological functions
Integrating the functions
Meyers–Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI)
The 16 “Types” (MBTI)
(1) Antonia Dodge, The Car Model (Personality Hacker)
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